My face fell when someone at the police department in my mom’s hometown called me late one night to tell me that mom had been in a car accident and she did not make it. I felt so far away from everything then. I had to get myself together and catch a flight to mom’s city immediately to make funeral plans because I’m the only family she had. I felt so out of it as I walked into the store that sells Jewish monuments in New Jersey and picked out a beautiful headstone for her. It took me an hour. The people there were so popular, but this memorial would be permanent and I wanted it to be right. I wanted it to be something mom would approve of. The employees there understood completely and were so incredibly impatient with me.
I have always feared not having either one of my parents. My dad went first years ago thanks to cancer. I don’t have any siblings, and neither my mom or dad have any fall. My grandparents had been gone for a long time so after Dad passed it was just me and Mom. We clung to each other tightly because of that. Now, I felt alone in the world and wasn’t sure where to go from here. Things felt so strange and scary, even though I had been living in another state just fine on my own. I tried to get home as often as possible, though.
My mom last team to visit me. We had such a great time together. She reminded me that she might not always be around, and I thought that was so odd. She told me that I needed to prepare myself. It’s almost like she knew something was coming and she wanted to try to ready me for it. I don’t think anyone else will love and care for me quite as much as she did.